A Little Monster's Tea Party
by AmadErik
Summary: Such a unique and different child as Erik, with all the unique and sad happenings in his daily life has different playing habits than ordinary children.


Wheezing hard from crying still, after being left all alone as his thumb in the sunlit drawing room, the small boy desperately reached out towards the open air. He still could feel the cool air which was caused by Mother's running, and he smelt the perfume the angelic lady was using. How he wished he could have smelled that from a closer distance once in his life... How he wished he could have hugged or touched that sure so good-feeling warm skin of Mother, or if she would ever picked him up on her lap...

But it won't ever happen. Now he was entirely sure it would not. He had just asked her for one single kiss, and all she did was screaming at him in horror, jumping up from the armchair and took a few steps backwards. She was crying hard, and when he walked closer to her, asking poor unhappy Mother not to cry, she grabbed the small mask out of the boy's skeletal hand, and tossed it at him by full force, desperately sobbing.

\- Don't you DARE to remove that mask again! - She cried. - Don't ever remove it!

And she was nowhere to be found, after he looked up to ask her why.

The mask, after being thrown at him, was now laying in front of his small feet on top of the floral patterned small round rug, peacefully as if nothing had happened before, like a dark makeshift pattern adjustment, covering some flowers out of sight, only one wrinkle of the part which was going to cover the boy's mouth when he put it on, could be seen, otherwise everything seemed to be so perfect. He picked up the mask sadly, with a sigh, and readjusted it on his head, accepting the sad fact he was never to remove it in front of Mother, ever. And he definitely never shall ask for a kiss...

He wondered what the mask covered from sight when he wore it. He had never seen himself before, those parts of the house he was allowed to enter lacked mirrors. Only one mirror he saw in the hall was at the stairs landing and he wasn't yet tall enough to reach up high to see himself. He only saw other people, and he guessed he was somewhat like others. He noticed already the area above his lips seemed to lack some flesh where other people had lips and he was confused why people could touch a part at the center of their faces with some fingers, or push that area. His fingers only slipped into his nose hole when he tried to imitate this gesture. Mother informed him later he had no nose and he had "ugly yellow eyes", but he wasn't sure how he could look like beneath that mask. He had worn that thing in all his life, he could not remember a time it wasn't on him, and he hated it mostly. Why Mother screamed and ran away so fast after he walked to her without a mask on him the first time in his life, only holding it in his hands...? Why...? Why? Why can't he ever show himself to Mother? Is she afraid of him?

Slowly drying his eyes, he felt he wasn't able to stand there all alone and needed to talk to someone or something. The cat, sadly was nowhere near at that time, only Bisous was growling at him from the corner, where Mother had abruptly placed her down before fleeing out of the room. She sure was scared and literally fled away from him if she did not even take the lap dog she adored more than anything, with her. While he was passing Bisous, the small furball continuously was growling and barking at him with anger and fear. Even that stupid dog hates him. He stuck his tongue out at her through the small opening of the mask which allowed him not to take his mask off while eating and drinking. Mother did it for him, he thought before, out of love so he will have more comfort, not having to lift up the mask always when he wanted to put anything into his mouth. The truth was, now as he found out, Mother did that out of fear and disgust so she did not have to see even a small part of his face while he was eating.

Walking out of the drawing room, he heard the painfully familiar sounds of Mother's desperate crying out of her bedroom, and he felt he needed to apologize for hurting her this much. He knew Mother did not like if he bothered her, but at least he could apologize... and promise her he won't ever remove the mask again...

The door leading to Mother's bedroom was slightly open, so through a small gap he could see Mother sitting on her bed, with the strange smelling Holy Water's bottle placed on her nightstand. She had funny smell after drinking that liquid, but sure, she was in a better mood until he saw the boy. If she drank more of it, she was sometimes laughing and not even his presence in the same room bothered her. Yet he wasn't allowed to touch her even then, as if he did, Mother pulled her hand away from his, and shook her head. "Your hand is as cold as a frog's ass!" It made him laugh when she said so, pity she did not say so funny things when she did not drink enough of Holy Water.

He pushed the door open and walked close to Mother and looked up at her.

\- Mother, I...

\- How dare you enter my room without my permission? - She gasped and held her hand protectively between them to ask for space. - Can't you knock, you uneducated, impolite brat?

\- Mother, I...

\- I did not ask you! A child talks only when he is asked! Get out of here! Immediately! Go to your room! I don't want to see you again today!

Mother started yelling and crying at the same time again, which was a sad sign of her desperation and that he successfully hurt her again with his best intents as well. With a sigh, he did obey, deciding he won't cause more trouble and walked to his room. He was at least happy he was sent to his room and wasn't locked into the cellar for the night again.

Arriving to his room he decided he would play with one of the few toys he had. He had a toy bear which sat on the top of his bed for the day, and he slept with it at night. The teddy saw better days as well, it was yet the few toys Mother saved from her childhood and was willing to sacrifice to give to the little monster, but mainly because the toy was just as ugly as the child, and so they made a perfect match. The ugly boy and that abandoned bear. The toy had a missing nose, just to make more resemblance with its poor miserable companion, and one of the eyes got lost as well during those long years being stored in the attic with other meaninglessly stored lumber. The left ear of the bear was ripped in half, and the fur was lacking the glossy and silky state it used to be 25 ears ago. Strange it was in such a horrible state, she never really played with it, she much preferred her doll, who was still saved. It was the only toy which was still in her room, on the top of Mother's bed, and the filthy ugly creature was never allowed to go close to it. But at least the bear was for the... "child". It was a good replacement for a partner.

The boy picked up the miserably worn toy from his bed and hugged it close to himself, burying his masked face in his fur, but with a sudden idea, he removed the mask and touched his bare face against the bear's belly. He held the toy like this for a time, then looked at it questioningly.

\- Are you scared of me too? - He asked out loud. No answer came, of course, he was already used to it. The bear only spoke to him if he made him talk with ventriloquism. He always was able to do it, it was his only talent other than music, which they newly discovered with Mother. He did not want to give words into its mouth though, now he really wanted its opinion of the matter. Mother is oversensitive maybe. The bear does not have nose either and yet it isn't wearing a mask, and the boy wasn't afraid of it.

Though...

The bear did not reply to him, and this fact angered him, and the more he was examining the toy the more he could see fear in that one eye it still had. It was slowly showing the same expression at him as Mother did.

-Is it so? - The boy yelled at the bear with disbelief and slammed the thing against the wall in front of him. The stuffed animal fell down on his bed and showed its miserably worn out face towards the child, who could now only focus on the lack of the thing's nose and one eye.

\- I have both of my eyes and still have to wear this. - He pointed at the mask with a bitter tone in his angelic child soprano. - Then, my friend, I am afraid you are not an exception either.

He turned around without a word and went to search for a good material for a tiny mask for the bear's head. In an hour he was done with an identical mask to his own, and he angrily walked back to the bed where the toy was still waiting for him to continue this awkward little conversation between them. The child lifted the teddy up and walked to the corner of the room with it, and sat down to the floor, placing the animal on his lap.

\- Listen, you thing.

The toy, just as his miserable little owner, did not have a name. Boy was used to not having names in the family, only Bisous had a name. The cat was cat. Mother was Mother. Boy was boy, or when Mother was angry, he was miserable little idiot, brat, bastard, god's punishment, hideous corpse, monster, devil, etc. Only Bisous was loved enough to have a name. And "Maurice dear", who was mentioned a lot during Mother's crying episodes.

\- Listen, you thing. - The boy repeated to give more emphasis to his words. - This mask is for you only. It is the most important piece of clothing. You ought to put it on earlier than your underwear. If I see you ONE time without it, you will be punished. Terribly. You won't forget how I punish you for that. And... don't you DARE to remove it... never... never...

Repeating the last sentences over and over while adjusting the mask on the bear's head, the boy started crying, he did not even know why. He was shaking and tears were running down his face, making the mask wet, and some of his tears landed on the bear's new mask.

\- Don't cry. - The boy said on a kinder and compassionate tone. - If I can suffer it, you can too. Endurance makes a man out of a boy. Whatever it means.

He did not speak more, only started cradling the masked bear in his hands and softly hummed Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring to the thing to make it, and himself calm down.


End file.
